The imaginary christian worlds of Heaven and Hell seem to be infested with creatures called angels. If evil, they might be labelled deamons. If necessary, they come armed with flaming swords (AK-47s and Uzis were not invented yet).

There seems to be different types of angels. There are archangels (higher ranking angels), guardian angels, guiding angels, messenger angels and warrior angels. There are the fallen angels such as Satan and his clan.

Most made up images of angels portray them as larger than men and they have wings. Their body structure must be radically different then humans in order to support what must be giant wings to be able to fly in Earth's atmosphere. Of course, we know the wings become fairly useless at altitudes of 20,000 or more feet since the air density falls dramatically.

My miscellaneous questions on angels are:

  • Do angels reproduce on their own? Do they have sex?
  • Are there obese angels?
  • Are there juvenile angels (cherubs)?
  • Are there Mexican midget angels?
  • Do angels give good blow jobs?
  • What's it like to rape an angel?
  • What's it like to be raped by an angel?
  • Do male angels have big dicks or little dicks?
  • Why do some angels carry flaming swords?
  • How and where do angels get in and out of heaven?

Apparently, angels (and cherubs and deamons) are capable of flittering in and out of heaven and hell to visit our fair planet. This may involve some superluminal inter-dimensional travel (which might give you a bad case of the runs).

Why does an all powerful God need an army of minions with wings and flaming swords?

Tell me again, why angels (flying bird people) need swords (even flaming swords)?

What do Seraphim Angels do?
Tradition places seraphim in the highest rank in Christian angelology and in the fifth rank of ten in the Jewish angelic hierarchy. A seminal passage in the Book of Isaiah (Isaiah 6:1-8) used the term to describe six-winged beings that fly around the Throne of God crying "holy, holy, holy".

It seems to me that an all powerful God who can create a vast universe with magical incantations shouldn't need millions or billions of helpers on one tiny planet in the corner of one galaxy of in a sea of billions of galaxies.

Send comments to: hjw2001@gmail.com