The very basis of what we call Christianity versus Judaism
comes about from the biblical quotation in John 14:6.
Jesus said unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me
If you believe in Jesus as part of God, you are a trinitarian Christian.
If you believe in Jesus as a prophet, you may be a unitarian Christian
Jesus is God's only begotten son? This is the same God that created the universe, Earth and man. God is omnipotent, omniscient and creator of everything? Then he could easily clone a thousand Jesus'es from mere dirt in any moment.
Why would God need to rape an earth woman (his own mother) to bear a son? He made trillions of suns (stars), why not just whip up a million sons.
If Jesus is God then he is presumably omnipotent and omniscient. If this is true, then when he allowed himself to be sacrificed, didn't he do this with the knowledge that he was immortal? If so, then how exactly was it a sacrifice for him? What did he sacrifice?
Christopher Hitchens noted that it's only with gentle Jesus, meek and mild, that the idea of eternal torture of Hell for minor transgressions is introduced.
Remember, Hell is eternal torture.
It's funny how believers can quote "Jesus loves you" scriptures all day long but as soon as an atheist quotes something rather nasty from that same bible you're told you gotta be a PhD in Ancient Middle Eastern Anthropology and fluent in both Hebrew and Aramaic in order to properly understand the text
The Annunciation (March 25) is documented in Luke 1:31 and is the
announcement by the angel Gabriel that she would conceive the son of God.
Joseph never consumated his relationship with Mary?
In the Ten Commandments, the seventh commandment is Thou shalt not commit adultery. The Holy Ghost then rapes the virgin Mary, committing adultery (or was this artificial insemination by an alien being).
Who was Mary's gynocologist?
Jesus was the illegitimate son of the Holy Ghost If you consider Jesus to be God, then he took away his own mother's virginity.
The concept of The Immaculate Conception became official catholic dogma in 1854 and means that the alleged virgin Mary herself was born without the stain of original sin. If she was born without sin, then her subsequent rape by the Holy Ghost had been planned for well over 14 years and was clearly premeditated rape.
By the way, we have all been convicted of original sin upon birth. Don't like the conviction? Take it up with the judge.
Science has yet to create a detergent tough enough to wash away your stain of original sin.
Original sin is given to you (free of charge) as an imaginary disease so that they can sell you an imaginary cure.
God impregnated his own mother to give birth to his son who is himself.
Furthermore, since Jesus was God's only begotten son, then Jesus's crucifixion was known beforehand by the heavenly forces and was pre-planned. Jesus knew he was on a suicide mission
What kind of shennanigans occured in order that the virgin Mary was born without original sin. Were her parents also raped by alien forces from Heaven? It's all so confusing.
If we are children of God, and Jesus is God's only begotten son, then it's clear that the rest of us are girls.
In the bible. Jesus makes three appearances. At his birth, at the temple in prepubescent years, and lastly, in the last year or two of his life.
Did Jesus ever have sex or did he die a virgin? If he had sex, did any young virgin get pregnant through Jesus. Perhaps it was some cheap slut.
What kind of deranged moron would accept a religion whose main symbol is a guy nailed to a cross?
Jesus never spoke out against slavery.
The foreskin of Jesus Christ is a christian relic. Known as the Holy Prepuce, or Holy Foreskin, it was claimed to have miraculous powers attributed to it. Up to 18 different foreskins were claimed to be the Holy Prepuce in various European towns.
Jesus triumphantly enters Jerusalem
If Jesus had two dads, why can't anyone else have two dads.
Jesus was a cross dresser.
If the Bible says that If Christ died for our sins, everybody should start sinning more to make his death worthwhile. Read the Ten Commandments and go forth and violate each and every one. Let's get more into drunkenness, debauchery, pedophelia, coveting and killing.
You might note however that Christ never died since he was resurrected.
Do you realize that there have been more eyewitness claims for seeing Sasquatch (Big Foot) than eyewitness claims of the ressurection of Jesus. All of us know that the Virgin Mary is seen quite frequently all over the world.
The custom of using Christmas trees can be dated back to the 16th century. By now, literally billions of trees have been decimated to celebrate the birth of this imaginary figure called Jesus Christ whose fragmented life is only described in the New Testament of the bible.
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
The date of Jesus's death was determined nearly 300 years after his alleged death in the Nicene Conference .
One day, a Pope Leo considered the issue of the virgin Mary as the mother of God and why the new testament never said anything about what happened to her when she died, so he made up the concept of The Ascension. This is the notion that Mary was so important that she had to have ascended into Heaven to join her son, Jesus. Now, The Ascension is part of their stupid belief system.
If Jesus had been killed in a gas chamber, Christians would wear tiny little gas chambers around their neck.
If Jesus had been killed by an axe, Christians would wear tiny little axes around their neck?
You know his name wasn't really Jesus Christ, right?
Jesus is just the greek translation for Yeshua, which translates from Hebrew to Joshua. But his name wasn't Joshua Christ either, since either of his parents weren't Joseph and Mary Christ. So, it's really not blasphemy to say Jesus Christ because it's not taking the right name in vain.
Was Jesus a rabble rousing, rogue rabbi?
Liar, Lunatic, Lord or .... Legend.
"Uh Joseph you know how we've never made love..."
Given that extramarital sex was sometimes punishable by death, "uuhhhh, it's God's kid!" sounds like a last ditch effort to avoid some unfortunate business.
I'm keeping this baby! If it means I have to tell people I fucked God himself, so help me
Jesus: My mother was a virgin when she gave birth to me.
Man: Yeah, that's why three random dudes showed up at your birth with gifts.
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his thirties.
What's the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
So Jesus walks in a motel, puts 3 nails on the counter, and asks the manager "can you put me up for the night?"
What do women and Jesus have in common?
What do men and Jesus have in common?
God sacrificed himself, to himself, to save humanity from himself.
E I E I O,
Christians believe a snake talked to the first woman who was made from a rib, that a virgin gave birth to a divine child who later fed 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish & later rose from the dead.
Matthew 34 through 39 sums up Jesus's loving and peaceful nature rather well
Matthew 10:34-39New International Version (NIV)
34 "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn "a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law- 36 a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'[a] 37 "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. 39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it."
More or less Jesus is a hateful and narcissistic war god who encourages either martyrdom or Holy Wars depending on the reader. Religion of love and peace my ass.
If Jesus had been hanged.
|Send comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org|